Thursday, April 5, 2012

A Smattering of Unorganized Thoughts and Impressions

Currently Reading: Eden's Outcasts: The Story of Louisa May Alcott and Her Father by John Matteson

Today is one of those days where I desperately want to write but find myself with nothing to say, or at least no way of pinning it down to paper. Impressions and thoughts continuously wing through my mind and collide with each other, while I chase them around, trying to capture them and make them behave. They won't behave today.
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Louisa May Alcott is looking up at me as I write this, her gaze full of determination and resolution. Her picture graces the cover of the newest book I'm reading and it is sitting on the floor beside me. She stares me down, trying to communicate with eyes that are piercing and knowing, her chin firmly set. Yet she doesn't look angry. She looks like she just finished laughing and that at any moment, the solid line of her mouth will turn upwards into a grin. I think I would have liked to know her.
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I visited my great-aunt at the nursing home yesterday. She is sick and weak but there is nothing wrong with her mind, her memory, or her sense of humor. She had me in stitches more than once last night. Our visit stays with me because last week I read Water for Elephants, a book that I didn't particularly love but contained several scenes that were very powerful and made quite an impression. The intermittent scenes of the narrator as a 93 year old man, stuck inside a nursing home and a wasted body, but with a mind and thoughts as fresh as ever, caused me more heartache than I can even express. Sara Gruen probably never intended her readers to contemplate growing old as a result of reading her novel, but this reader did. I realized that many of the books you find on the bookstore shelf are about the struggles and triumphs of young adulthood or middle-age. Discovering our purpose, finding ourselves, finding true love, or coming to terms with our childhood are some of the major themes of most novels. Not enough books explore how to grow old, the pain and loneliness of it, the contemplation of death, the end of a life. We spend our lives striving for more- more money, more goods, more self-awareness, more happiness. But each of us will one day have to look back, not forward, and reflect on the life we have lived, not the life we want to live. It has given me much to think about this week, especially as I spent time with my beautiful, amazing aunt.
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I wish I could stay home and read all day... my whole being wants nothing more than to delve into 1830s Massachusetts with the Alcott family. Fortunately, a long weekend awaits me; I plan on taking advantage of it. Perhaps a Little Women post will be forthcoming.

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Amazing to think of what came from that mind.
Until next time...

6 comments:

  1. Enjoy Eden's Outcasts, Jillian!! I REALLY want to read it. :)

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    1. It's amazing so far. I think you would really like it.

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  2. Love this post!I agree,we should spend more time thinking about our lives and our past.I love Little women,it's a such beautiful novel!

    Xoxo

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    1. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks that, Claudia! And you're right... there is so much beauty to be found in the pages of Little Women. Every time I read it, I find more!

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  3. I love Eden's Outcasts so much that I am deliberately taking my time reading it (and by time I mean, months and months with lots of note taking, retyping sections, etc.). Matteson is the most wonderful writer, so elegant with a pure spirit. He gave up a law career because he so wanted to teach and write. This is a guy who is in love with what he's doing and it shows. He understands spirituality which is essential in giving Bronson Alcott a fair hearing.

    I blog exclusively about Louisa May Alcott at http://louisamayalcottismypassion.wordpress.com and I've done several posts on Eden's Outcasts, most especially on how it changed my perception of Bronson. I also recently posted a wonderful video of Matteson reading from his book and discussing it - seeing his purity and enthusiasm makes me love his book all the more. There's a search field on the right hand side - just scroll down till you find it and type in either John Matteson or Eden's Outcasts.

    Can you tell I'm a fan? ;-)

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    1. I can definitely tell you are a fan... my kind of fan. I am going to check out your blog right this minute... it sounds amazing. I agree that Matteson does an extremely good job at understanding both Bronson and Louisa for who they were. His dedication to his work and his analysis of the primary sources are impeccable. I will definitely check out that video as well. I look forward to more chats about Louisa May!

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