Sanctuary

Currently Reading: Mrs. Dalloway by Virginia Woolf and The House at the End of Hope Street by Menna Van Praag



Looking back over the books I've been reading lately, I start to sense a theme. Many are memoirs, many involve travel, and most lead me to more self-reflection and inspiration in my own life. After a bit of a hard winter, my perspective has shifted, brightened like the July sun, illuminating my life and my expectations by focusing not on what I want, but on who I want to be. Much of this has come from the books I have been reading, each one perfect for the inner growth spurt I feel I am having. Though very different, the books Have Mother, Will Travel by Clare and Mia Fontaine, and The House at the End of Hope Street by Menna Van Praag, speak similar words to me. In one, a mother and daughter travel the world, learning lessons about themselves in the places they end up. In another, three women find refuge from pain and hopelessness in a magical home that shelters and guides them. To me, both books depict a sense of refuge, of safety- whether finding oneself amid new vistas or in a safe, magical home, the protagonists learn to breathe, examine their lives and pick up the pieces. It left me realizing how important places of refuge are, both literally and figuratively, for it is often in the quiet and the apart where we finally hear ourselves, and can listen.

The idea of a sanctuary, of a safe place apart from life, has always beckoned me. I am drawn to the silent, to the peaceful. I meander through cemeteries, I sit in darkened churches, I crave the solitude of nature. In a way, books are also my sanctuary, cathedrals in my mind in which I can be alone but also be surrounded by myself and by the world. In Ireland, we spent almost every day exploring ancient monasteries, their ruins one with the ground and the trees and the water that envelops it. At each, a sense of rightness, of belonging, filled me. There, in the sacred and the quiet, where human creation becomes indistinguishably entwined with God's, I could hear myself more clearly than ever before. One day in particular stands out, alone with Nathan on a stretch of Inishmurray Island, the island of Molaise's monks. On a day bright with blue and scudding clouds, I stared out to the sea, listening to the waves and the wind, and thought of nothing but where I was. No worries, no plans, no thoughts beyond gratitude. My mind, for the first time, was truly mine, uncluttered and free. That island filled my bones and it sustains me still. Closing my eyes, it is still my place of refuge, for though I change, it never will.

I need those places of sanctuary, but I also need to learn to carve one out inside of myself. After reading these books, I recognize how much more I want to reflect on my perspectives, my attitudes, and my expectations, how imperative it is for me to listen to that desire for refuge and quiet. I don't have to travel to faraway lands to hear myself; I don't even have to leave my living room. Wherever I am, I want to spend more time seeking out the quiet and stillness, listening to myself and learning from the soft voice that can only be heard when the mind is stilled.

Cemetery Wanderings

Currently Reading: Welcome Joy: Death in Puritan New England by Gordon Geddes and I Am America (and So Can You) by Stephen Colbert

Today was spent at a local orchard with my mom, sister, cousins, aunt, and Nate. Spending an afternoon petting goats, drinking cider, sampling fresh apples, and indulging in hot apple pie is one of my favorite autumnal activities. Especially with my family.
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Welcome Joy: Death in Puritan New England is turning out to be the perfect fall read. While it may sound morbid to some, it is absolutely fascinating. A dissertation on Puritan attitudes toward death, it examines the way in which the Puritan colonists viewed death, faced death, and dealt with the deaths of loved ones, especially as it related to their doctrinal beliefs. In many ways, we are blessed to be much more separated from the reality and haunt of death than our forebears were. It is not the constant presence it once was, when most families lost several children and many people succumbed to diseases that are unfamiliar to us today. Yet unlike many other things about our world and society that has changed in the intervening 300 years, we all still must face and come to terms with the reality of death at some point in our lives. It is something that connects us all, and it is quite interesting to reflect on the commonalities and differences between the ways in which we face death.
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And speaking of death...... One of my favorite things: exploring cemeteries. Especially at this time of year. When one of my best friends came to visit several weeks ago, we did just that.





Besides my husband, she's my favorite person to explore cemeteries with.





She was talking to me about a symbol on one of the stones. I caught her mid-speak. Sorry, Ash!
 
One of the cemeteries we went to is a small cemetery for a settlement in the 1840s and 1850s that has now disappeared. It is close to our home, tucked into a small copse of trees between two farms.





A small rusted gate leads into it and the stones are all over a century old, weathered by time.



I feel my soul quieten and still every time I wander a cemetery. Images fill my mind as I walk past the stones- the mourners in black circled around freshly dug graves, prayers and Psalms spoken into the wind, families and neighbors creating a community of strength in the face of loss. So many stories are told with each stone, in each family plot. I am always humbled by the strength of memory permeating such places. And in the act of bending over to read the faded words, they are remembered again, and exist briefly once more.
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Little things that are exciting me lately: squash, my "to-read" list (ooh, I've got some good ones coming up), my cat, chili in the Crock-Pot, wearing my prayer shawl as I read, finishing homework, clean laundry, and good coffee. How about you?

An Affair with Autumn

Currently Reading: Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen and Brooklyn by Colm Toibin

As I knew it would, the demands of schoolwork has affected my blogging. I obviously do not write and post as often as I would like, and though it sounds silly, not being able to blog on a regular basis makes me feel guilty- like I'm not a good blogger because I participate so infrequently. While I wonder how this affects my readership, I must remind myself that I write for myself, first and foremost.

About a week ago, I finished The Eyre Affair by Jasper Fforde, listening to it on audiobook as it accompanied me to and from school. The novel is set in the 1980s in an alternate reality, where the Crimean War is still being waged and literature is taken as seriously as religion is in this country. The story follows a Special Operative LiteraTec named Thursday Next, who must rescue Jane Eyre after she is abducted from the pages of her book. Yes, it is possible in this novel to go into other novels- Martin Chuzzlewit, a Wordsworth poem. It was a fun book- quirky and imaginative, a book one reads just for fun. I absolutely loved all of the literary references: a hotel called Finis; a reporter named Melinda Floss (say it quickly: it sounds like "Mill on the Floss"..hehe); people going door to door Jehovah-witness style to convert people into believing that Francis Bacon actually wrote Shakespeare's plays; people stepping into poems and wandering the corridors of Thornfield Hall. The scenes at Thornfield Hall were of course the highlight of the book- (I may have squealed a bit when Mr. Rochester came on the scene)- though perhaps it was a bit irreverent to a Jane Eyre lover- key plot points are different, and anything can happen in the margins (tourists come and go, villains escape into the environs of Millcote, a certain LiteraTec lives for months hidden inside the hall-all without Jane's knowledge, so as not to disrupt the story-line.) It all adds up to a purely delightful reading experience, one that kept me hooked from beginning to end.

Annnnnnnd...... it's autumn again!



My favorite season of them all. Fall is a time of remembrance and reflection for me, a time to look back on the year and look forward to the year ahead. I think there is something within me and probably within all of us- a genetic memory of sorts- that awakes at this time of year. Something that remembers the harvest, the preparation for winter, My soul leaps at the farm fields bathed in a chill autumn sunrise, a V of geese overhead, the smell of dead leaves, butternut squash soup, slipping my apron over my head, chilly air filling my lungs. As I wrote in my "Halloween Book List" last year, my book list often reflects the time of year as well. Falltime is when I pull out my history books on the Puritans, on colonial history, on the Salem Witch Trials. I have done it for so many years that fall seems like the only backdrop now against which I can read these books. While right now, I am finishing up Northanger Abbey, which I will talk about in my next post, and just started Brooklyn as an audiobook, I have already reserved a book that I am really looking forward to: Welcome Joy: Death in Puritan New England. Oh yeah, baby. It may sound morbid, but I have always been fascinated by the history of our perceptions and relationship with death. "History toward the Attitudes of Death" was my favorite class in college, and I just eat up books and documentaries about cemeteries, funeral rites, beliefs about death. I think my job has something to do with it- or perhaps I have my job because of this interest I have always harbored. Either way, it gives me so much to look forward to, to ponder over, to learn.

My reading and my blogging may have taken a bit of a backseat to this thing we call grad school, but I still have it here, waiting for me and for those moments when I can stop and take a breath. That's a nice reassurance. Have a great week! Go find a fun Halloween read!

A Celtic Halloween

Currently Reading: The Witch's Daughter by Paula Brackston

All Hallow's Eve is upon us.... an ancient celebration with its roots in the Celtic festival of Samhain. Our Jack-o'lanterns are glowing outside on our balcony; I'm still in my witch's costume. Nathan and I have had our fill of candy and watched our annual History Channel special on the Salem Witch Trials.

The back of Mary Adams St. John's grave in Riley Cemetery. My great-great-great-great grandmother. I thought a tombstone picture is more than appropriate for Halloween. Besides, it is beautiful!

As it does every year, Halloween inspires me to think about the real history behind this holiday that I love so much. We may not celebrate Halloween the way the ancient Celts did, but the idea behind the holiday has survived for hundreds of years. I believe this is one of my favorite holidays because of that feeling of tradition. Although centuries, beliefs, and languages have changed, the tradition continues.
Samhain was celebrated by the Celts as a farewell to the light season and the beginning of the dark season, when nights were longer, days were colder, and the world died until the light season began once more. Because it bordered two seasons, it was a fragile night, where the veil between this world and the next was paper-thin and able to be breached. They welcomed their ancestors, but also feared the fragility and instability of the night. A combination of sacred and terrifying. On Samhain, the Celts burned bonfires throughout the night to ward off evil spirits; it was believed that on Samhain, not only could ancestors return from their graves, but evil spirits could also steal one away to the otherworld. It was a night of fear and a need for protection- something that is replicated, though unconsciously, in our costumes of ghosts, witches, and Disney characters. It was (and still remains) a night where everything is topsy-turvy- on this one night, we are allowed to traipse through darkened streets and knock on stranger's doors, demanding treats. We can dress outlandishly in public (as I did at work today) and not receive strange looks. It is a day when we can have fun and relax, before the cold comes again and we must bundle ourselves against the elements. It's true that the ancient Celts may not recognize our own Halloween traditions, but underneath it all, we still have a need to face our fears, celebrate life, and look back to the ones who have left this world.

In case you are interested, I have many wonderful books on the ancient Celts that I recommend. Celtic Heritage by Alwyn and Brinley Rees, The Flowering of Ireland by Katherine Scherman and Irish Folk History by Henry Glassie are some of my favorites. If fiction is your thing, I love the Sevenwaters Trilogy by Juliet Marillier. Although it is fantasy and not entirely historically accurate, it depicts Celtic society in a way that not many fiction authors do. Those books first inspired my fascination with Irish and Celtic history, and I love to revisit them.

Enjoy your Halloween! Just for kicks and giggles, here's a picture of me many Halloweens ago:

Note the book! I never stop reading! :)

My Very Own "Celebrating Halloween, October, and Autumn" Book List

Currently Reading: The Burning of Bridget Cleary by Angela Bourke

I hope you are all having a happy October! So far, I have celebrated by baking an apple crisp and visiting Edward's Apple Orchard with Nate, my dad, and my stepmom. What a great weekend. I hope yours was just as fun. I have a funny tradition that I started long ago and have kept up every year. Whenever a holiday or time of year rolls around, I tend to gravitate toward books that reflect it. By doing so, I feel I achieve a deeper appreciation and connection to the season and the world around me. My book is not an escape; it provides a deeper level of experiencing the season. And since it is finally October, it is time to read my autumn/Halloween books!

I absolutely love my October books. Autumn and October cause me to reflect on the world around me, on life, on death. My passion for meandering through cemeteries is increased tremendously as the days become crisp and the world prepares to "give up the ghost" and sleep for another season. While I enjoy searching out new books every year, I often use this month to reread my favorites, for reading these particular books at any other time of year just seems wrong. Many of the books are historical fiction, especially related to historic witch hunts. (My interest in the Salem Witch Trials is dwarfed only by my love of Irish history and genealogy). Others have creepy or mysterious aspects that lend themselves perfectly to a cemetery autumn read. (Note: I love to read in cemeteries. It's a wonderful way to enjoy nature, it's peaceful, and it's quiet. Call me crazy but there is something wonderful about cemeteries.) None of the books on this list are horror or thriller books, for I have never acquired any sort of fascination for those types of books or movies. Halloween (or Samhain, as the Celts called it) is not about murder or gore- it's about saying goodbye to the light season, remembering our ancestors, and anticipating the new year. So tonight, in honor of this wonderful month and the season which accompanies it, I give you my top "Celebrating Halloween, October, and Autumn" Book List in the hopes you will perhaps become inspired to pick one up yourself.
1) Salem Possessed by Paul Boyer and Stephen Nissenbaum
            A wonderful historical analysis of the events that led to the 1692 Salem Witch Trials. Boyer and Nissenbaum are two of the field's most eminent historians and they really know their research. Their argument is compelling and gives the witch hunts an entirely new perspective. I have read many books on the Salem Witch Trials and theirs is by far one of the best analyses of those terrifying nine months. A great read for the curious scholar who is looking for some shivers down the spine.
2) Widow of the South by Robert Hicks
            I read this as an audiobook last autumn, which was a fantastic experience. Widow of the South is based on true events during the Civil War and beyond. The book is about a Southern woman named Carrie McGavock whose plantation home becomes a hospital for dead and dying Confederate soldiers after a battle rages near her hometown. Appalled by later efforts to disinter and dispose of the soldier's remains several years later, Carrie, who is suffering from terrible grief for her own losses, decides to have the soldiers' bodies brought to her plantation and creates a cemetery for them, which she tends until her death. While the battle scenes and soldiers' experiences are interesting, the most meaningful and haunting part for me were the book's heavy- and often heartbreaking- discourses on life and death from a Southern woman's perspective.
3) The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane by Katherine Howe
            One of my absolute favorite October books. Part fantasy, part Salem Witch Trial history, with splashes of genealogy thrown in, Deliverance Dane is about a PhD history student who starts researching one of her descendants after finding her "Physick Book." As she delves deeper into her family history, the main character discovers some surprising details about her ancestors and herself. The end is a bit over the top if you're not expecting it; however, I still relish reading it every year. My favorite memory with this book is from last year, finishing the final chapters as I sat on my mother's porch during a late October afternoon, the leaves outside quietly celebrating with me.
4) The Raging Quiet by Sheryl Jordan
         Please read this book. I cannot stress enough how much I love this book and I am fairly confident that if you love books at all, you will at least enjoy this one. Historical fiction centered in medieval England, The Raging Quiet is about a woman and a man who were different- and then punished for it. (Don't worry, it has a good ending). Marnie is a farm laborer's daughter who marries the landlord in order to save her family's position. Raven is a man whom the local people believe is possessed with demons. Marnie discovers the truth and befriends him, which causes the local people to turn on her as well. I love this book because it causes the reader to understand and face fear- and not the type of fear that is often advertised through horror movies, but the real fear of what people can be capable of when ignorance prevails over reason. If you read anything from this list this month, please read this one.
5) The House of the Seven Gables by Nathaniel Hawthorne
                A wonderful classic for the season and one that I read for the first time last year. While not my favorite of Hawthorne's (I prefer The Scarlet Letter but most especially Young Goodman Brown), this was nevertheless a creepy book that brings up many questions and musings about our ancestors. How much of their influence remains within us and to what extent? Can we ever break away from our families' reputations and legacies? I haven't read any scholarly discourse on this book, but I believe this book reflected Hawthorne's own haunting thoughts on the legacy and taint of his ancestors, especially since his great-great-grandfather, John Hathorne, was one of the leading magistrates during the 1692 Salem Witch Trials (which is why Nathanial Hathorne changed his name). For a genealogy nerd like me, it definitely provokes contemplation, even long after reading it.
6) The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving
             Another fantastic classic, especially for Halloween. The plotline is quite familiar even to those who have never read it, so I won't recount it here. It's a quick read, and often amusing, but the end is truly scary, awakening our deepest fears about darkness and the unknown. What did happen to Ichabod Crane?
7) Brides of Eden: A True Story Imagined by Linda Crew
            This book does not seem at first glance to fit into my Halloween/October book list, but believe me, the creepy/chills down your spine factor is there from the start. Brides of Eden, based on a real event in the late 1800s, is about a man who came to a small town proclaiming to be the returning Savior. While it sounds almost amusing, this man ended up convincing almost the entire female population of a small Oregon town that he was both the Holy Spirit and Jesus, come to deliver them from the end of the world. Reading about the cult he ultimately created from the imagined perspective of one of the women inside of it is intense and horrifying. The sinister aspects of this story are numerous and the book will continue to haunt, long after you read it. Perfect for this time of year.

And my October books for 2011? Well, I cheated and started early, because I was just too excited. (I also decorated my house on September 15th. I go all the way.) :) This year, I am reading The Burning of Bridget Cleary by Angela Bourke, which is about an Irish woman who in 1895 was burned and killed by her husband, father, and other male relatives because they believed she was a fairy changeling. This is an absolutely true story; Angela Bourke does a phenomenal job presenting her research and making the broader connections between this event and other aspects of life, religion, and the political climate during this period of Irish history. Horrifying but addicting, this book had me from the first chapter... I am loving it. After that, I hope to try two new books: Daughters of the Witching Hill by Mary Sharratt and The Witch's Daugher by Paula Brackston.The first is a historical fiction account of a family living through a terrible witch hunt in England in 1612 (who is seeing a trend in my book choices here?), while the second seems to be a novel about a woman who is a witch and has been granted immortality but must reap the consequences for this gift. Both very intriguing; I am quite excited to dive in to both! Plans always change though, so The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane might be picked up as well. We will see! Let me know what your favorite spooky books are! Have a great week!